This is what i look at on my kitchen counter on a daily basis. In some sort of fashion or another.
It's not always that same pile. Sometimes there's a quart of paint (just pick a color - right now i am my own personal Home Depot). Other times there may be a drill or even 2 drills, just depends.
But this man-clutter is a God-sent reminder to me that years ago when my heart was breaking in a million pieces, He heard my cries. And He rescued me.
In my distress I called to the LORD; I called out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears. - 2 Samuel 22:7
Flashback 6 or 7 years. I was sitting at the bottom of the stairs in my foyer, alone and sad, and crying over yet another fight between my ex and me - when my MIL showed up at my door.
I cannot explain the extent of my sadness, but to say, i have lived ALONE - and not been as lonely as i was during the time I was married.
My husband didn't want to be married but didn't want to divorce because of the kids, and he encouraged me to find someone to be my companion so that he didn't have to travel with me, or do outings like other married couples. He said he was bored to death by me. That is why i was sitting there crying that day. Total rejection.
My MIL, i'm sure with all good intentions, sat down beside me and said something i will never forget. She said "sheri, no one, NO ONE, will ever love you the way you expect to be loved. That's not reality." and then she went on to say that she remembered feeling the same way once but she got past it, and moved on. She found girlfriends to travel with, made a life that didn't involve her husband.
My friends, i cannot tell you how her words, which were meant to help me, just broke my heart even more. I wanted someone that loved me. wanted to spend time with me. not someone that wanted to be as far away from me as possible - and was telling me to go elsewhere for that relationship i so desperately sought. I wanted to be married. That's why i got married in the first place. I didn't want to spend my life living alone. But that's what i was doing. I was also praying a lot. Praying and crying.
Sometimes God says no though - and He said no to my marriage. He wouldn't heal it, no matter how hard i prayed. So i gave it over and said, ok, if this isn't meant to be, at least not now or maybe ever, i need You to provide income. I need You to provide an affordable house. And i prayed that He would provide someone for me - i was so lonely.
One by one He did provide. Months after I started the divorce process - a brand new house was built down the street in my price range. I got financing with no hiccups. and then not even 3 months later, i was offered a new job making 30K more than i was making before. I remember sitting on my new living room floor (because i didn't have furniture yet) crying because He did everything I asked of Him. They were the happiest tears i had cried in a very long time.
And then, He provided Vance. (which, in true Sheri fashion, i pushed away from at first)
But from the very first date - i knew. I used to hate it when i would hear people say that, but i knew. If you saw us together you would totally say we are like puzzle pieces. He starts where i stop and vice versa. I know how lame i sound - it's ok - i don't care. It's true. And he loves me beyond comprehension. He gets me. He laughs at my jokes. He has let me cry and started crying because I was crying and he hates to see me sad. I cannot imagine my life without him.
And when i think back to that day when I was told that no one would ever love me the way i thought i should be loved - i now know she was right. Vance loves me beyond that. And every day when i look at those piles of hammers, screws, duct tape, i let that serve as God's reminder to me of how faithful He is when we trust Him to meet the desires of our heart. And I am forever thankful.
"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support. - 2 Samuel 22:17-19